InstantFailure

instantfailure @ 2008-09-24T06:53:00

2008-09-24T09:57:25Z

have any clue how much it sucks when you realize the one person you'd swear you'd do absolutely anything for doesn't give a flying fuck about you?

it hurt far more than her girlfriend(or ex? we can never know) trying to break my nose, let me tell you that.

instantfailure @ 2007-07-18T07:12:00

2007-07-18T10:13:58Z

Alesana
Pathetic, Ordinary

she haunts me in dreams
I see her silhouette dance across landscapes of golden
light and autumn
...in my dreams...

her soft eyes see through my tortured soul
vanishing any hope for fantasy
the thing I'd give, to prove myself to her, to make her see...

jaded eyes awake as her selfish words rain from such placid lips
still I kiss her silken flesh

frigid air leaves me breathless
foolish agony fills my lungs as I try to scream for her
I confess...I scare myself
through the howling wind, on my knees, I cry
...listen to me...

I'm broken by her silence to a love unseen
blood soaked feathers rained down
my wingless angel so broken falls gracefully from the sky
to waiting arms...to waiting arms...

frigid air leaves me breathless
foolish agony fills my lungs as I try to scream for her
I confess...I scare myself
through the howling wind, on my knees, I cry
...listen to me...

such foolish agony fills my lungs as I try to scream for her
jaded eyes wake to the sounds of my voice as I scream to her
in dreams I've seen her silhouette dance across golden light
and autumn...in my dreams...

In my dreams skies so burdened let her go
as cold rain falls, so does she
my desires whither, broken once more
soft hands take one so fair she haunts me

instantfailure @ 2007-07-04T20:47:00

2007-07-04T23:48:29Z

Hot Water Music
Where We Belong

slid back and watched the year turn
sat still walked through what i learned
jerked tears then grinned to cheeks and yearned

for what had been lost
and what had been found
tables turn when knocked down
let's stand them upright
and follow our sights
to where we belong

slid back and watched the year turn
sat still walked through what i learned
jerked tears then grinned to cheeks and yearned

can't think of turning back clocks
can't run for what has been lost and we
can't sulk in what once drowned us because
we will drown again
and cease to win
the constant battles that we wake up with
now stronger and warned
we should live without scorn
and renew what we can

no year could cut us like that one
and we don't sit and drown in wonder
time passed we failed we crashed
but who is to say we can't start over

start now start right stay tight and we can live side by side

instantfailure @ 2007-05-07T21:39:00

2007-05-08T00:41:28Z

uhh. this is fairly interesting. check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-MYVv4tgQc

instantfailure @ 2007-04-24T06:23:00

2007-04-24T10:26:30Z

this song is fucking perfect. download it sometime.

Dead Poetic
Vices

Feeling cold, feeling empty. Set the stage, where you want me.
And this crowd right before me doesn’t care that I’m dying.
And the audience stands with their eyes fixed on the preconceived version of me.
I’m so betrayed by your hopes, but I will not hide myself for your peace of mind.

Oh, but Child. I’ve got Vices like any other man.

Raise a boy to a cynic. Take his love, and then let it turn into something passionate.
Something sick, something rabid.
And I vent to keep myself from caving. I don’t hate you, I just hate where I’m heading.
I’m left here asking, when did I trade in my bleeding heart for a selfish win?

Oh, but Mother. I’ve got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you’re not used to. Vices that’ll make you think less of me.

Leave me numb. Leave me jaded. She’s a dream, I just play dead.
I’ve been blessed, I’ve been hated. She’s the constant, and I’m her addict.
She’s the only peace in this world, uneasy.
While I bite my tongue to keep from breaking the heart that I’ve spent my whole life seeking.
The only heart I’ve ever needed.

Oh, but Lover. I’ve got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you’re not used to. Vices that’ll make you think...
Oh, but Lover. I’ve got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you’re not used to. Vices that’ll make you think less of me. Less of me.

Feeling cold, feeling empty. I am low, unworthy.
Bleed the God. Bleed the blessing. Like a vulture feasting.
I’ll exist as if I don’t feel conviction of my ignorance to my perfect prison.
But I feel the stabs on my wrists and ankles every time I try...

To forget you. To forget you.

Oh, but Jesus. I’ve got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you’re so used to. Vices that won’t make you think less of me.

drama

2007-04-14T14:02:25Z

Two great songs telling one sad story.

Brand New
Seventy Times 7

Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know,
like how to deal with despair, or someone breaking your heart.
For twelve years I've held it all together but a night like this is begging to pull me apart.
I played it quiet, left you deep in conversation.
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen.
I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would,
and now I know I want to kill you like only a best friend could.

Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to.

As if this happening wasn't enough I got to go
and write a song just to remind myself how bad it sucked.
Ignore the sun, the cover's over my head.
I wrote a message on my pillow that says, "Jesse, stay asleep in bed."
So don't apologize. I hope you choke and die.
Search your cell for something with which to hang yourself.
They say you need to pray if you want to go to heaven
but they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell.

Everyone's caught on to everything you do
Everyone's caught on to
And everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again.)
Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)

So, is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there's ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.

And is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let's end this call, and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever

So, is that what you call a getaway?
Well tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there's ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.

Everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)
And everyone's caught on to everything you do (And I can't let you, let me down again)
Everyone's caught on to (And I can't let you, let me down again)

Taking Back Sunday
There's No "I" In Team

Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you're up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable...ohoh

Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

You never knew
well I never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable

Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse...
(that's right he said, that's right he said it)
((have another drink and drive yourself home))
I swear, you have no idea
((I hope there's ice on all the roads))
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that's right he said)
((and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt))
that you always had it way too easy
((and again when your head goes through the windshield))

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable

Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve

Get it?

instantfailure @ 2007-04-09T20:30:00

2007-04-09T23:33:42Z

SENSES FAIL
"Calling All Cars"

Calling all cars we've got another victim
'Cause my love has become an affliction
What did you expect from me?
What did you expect from me?

I'm sorry but I think I failed to mention
That I lied at my very first confession
What did you expect from me?
What did you expect from me?

'Cause this has been building since I have been breathing
And I know how it's going to end

So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down
And now that I'm gone
Try to forget me and just move on
So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word and you hate me for it now
You knew all along
Try to forget me and just move on

Oh my dear, what have I gone and done now?
It's curtain call, I'm about to take my last bow
What did you expect from me?
What did you expect from me?

Without giving away the entire ending
I ruined the evening again

So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down
And now that I'm gone
Try to forget me and just move on
So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word and you hate me for it now
You knew all along
Try to forget me and just move on

I don't have love left inside, inside
And I don't have love left inside, inside
Are you desperate for an answer?
I don't have an ounce of good left in me now
That's why I walked out

So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down
And now that I'm gone
Try to forget me and just move on
So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word and you hate me for it now
You hate me for it now
Try to forget me and just move on

I am not the one that you should blame
So take what I left you for the pain
I am not the one that you should blame
So take what I left you for the pain
And do your best to forget my name

instantfailure @ 2007-04-06T14:36:00

2007-04-06T17:39:30Z

Yesterday's Rising
My Body Is Like A Metaphor

Do you want to ride?
Do you want to feel?
Do you want to perfect your craft?

My body is like a metaphor.
It's holding me back, I'm looking for more.
I'm like a child, so very innocent,
a curious one, with the want for more.

It's the sweetness that I crave, more and more everyday.
My feelings are like the wind, they are felt and sensed.
But not visualized by the eyes.
This is my premonition, this is my disguise.

Do you want to ride?
Do you want to feel?
Do you want to perfect your craft?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
I'm searching for more.

It's a feeling in your head,
a feeling through your body.
A sense of knowing,
A sense of knowing,
It's a feeling in your head,
a feeling through your body.
A sense of knowing,
A sense of knowing,
A sense of knowing,
A sense of knowing,
A sense of knowing,

My body is like a metaphor, day to day I live as a person.
I want the state of emptiness.

Do you want to ride?
Do you want to feel?
Do you want to perfect your craft?

My body is like a metaphor.

taken from facebook and brought to LJ. haha.

2007-04-04T07:57:02Z

You Are Death

You symbolize the end, which can be frightening.
But you also symbolize the immortality of the soul.
You represent transformation, rebirth of a new life.
Sweeping away the past is part of this card, as painful as it may be.

Your fortune:

Don't worry, this card does not predict death itself.
Instead it foreshadows the ending of an era of your life, one that is hard to let go of.
But with the future great new things will come, and it's time to embrace them.
Mourn for a while, but then face the future with humility and courage.

What Tarot Card Are You?

You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed.
You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light.
You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two.
Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets.

Your fortune:

Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward.
You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination.
And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end.
You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

What Tarot Card Are You?

and i did it twice. yea yea.

instantfailure @ 2007-02-22T06:46:00

2007-02-22T10:47:06Z

so im totally failin the workin out bit. no time to do anything. pooo. and i still need the screws for my weight bench. things have been super busy, and i like this little clip of lyrics:

You're drowsy without a care
Except keeping your whites behind your lids
And your lids are your best canvas
I can only imagine what you're painting

instantfailure @ 2007-02-01T17:32:00

2007-02-01T21:33:14Z

Yesterday's Rising - Experience to Write

To the creator of the world,
I would love to tell you that this ride of life is going smoothly.
As a soft hand on flawless skin.

And I will write to change and experience to write.
And I'll fall again just to be picked up by the power of the mind.
And right now I will refer back to my life
As being like a soft hand on flawless skin, I have been blessed beyond.

To the people that ruin this world,
I will nullify your negativity,
I will make every last attempt, to go on.

And I will write to change experience to write.
And I'll fall again just to be picked up by the power of the mind.
And right now I will refer back to my life
As being like a soft hand on flawless skin, I have been so blessed.

I will write to change your life and experience, experience to write
About the happenings that take place,
from the day to the night.

I will write to change your life and experience, experience,
Write, I will change your life and experience, experience, so
Write, I will write to change your, write to change your life

instantfailure @ 2007-02-01T00:39:00

2007-02-01T04:40:50Z

Breaking Benjamin - The Diary of Jane

If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?

And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.

Try to find out what makes you tick.
As I lie down
Sore and sick.
Do you like that?
Do you like that?

There's a fine line between love and hate.
And I don't mind.
Just let me say that
I like that
I like that

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.

Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love.
Die for anyone
What have I become?

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.

instantfailure @ 2006-12-13T21:08:00

2006-12-14T01:08:35Z

The reason the cat litter stinks is cause i cleaned it the night before and left the bag of shit in the room so I could clean it out using the same bag the next day. It appears this tactic doesnt work as well as i planned. Oops.

Why do I do all my christmas shoppin at the liquor store... oh my. You'll like your present this year, Caitlin. And Jenn.

instantfailure @ 2006-11-28T22:48:00

2006-11-29T02:48:20Z

As Cities Burn - Terrible! How Terrible for the Great City!

am I a monster when I sink my teeth into her
when I don't love her
no, I don't love you
forgive me darling, but love has nothing to do with this
it has nothing to do with how I can't stop
until I get what I want from you

this is what real men keep quiet
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth
and sleep at night next to your wife
who you love too much to tell her
you don't love her at all

I just feel as empty as the lungs
of those waiting in the womb
do you feel as empty as the lungs of those waiting
to come into this world
where being beautiful means being used

how long will we blame the devils on our shoulders
and pose like angels on the outside
when all I am is a monster

instantfailure @ 2006-11-27T21:47:00

2006-11-28T01:47:37Z

Jamison Parker - Best Mistake

I chronicled the days you made me want to live
Memorize the way that it felt and then I turned it into this kiss
Tonight I’m wearing my best smile and hope to make me worth your while
I’ll be the best mistake you’ll ever make

From the lack of sleep and the bloodshot eyes
To the nervous kiss and the butterflies
Does this make any sense at all
She said, she said

We're not sleeping, and I'm not breathing
If this means anything at all
I won’t let you leave me anymore

If this holds insignificance, I'll have the hearse follow the ambulance
No medicine exists to make my lungs work again

Let's shake and burn, like an addict
My hearings dead, only static
If I said your smiles all that mattered
Would you save my life

We're not sleeping, and I'm not breathing
If this means anything at all
Don’t let me leave you anymore

instantfailure @ 2006-09-14T23:40:00

2006-09-15T02:44:30Z

I love Saosin! Their first full album is being released sometime soon (I got a leaked version... it's amazing).
Don't got much else to write.

instantfailure @ 2006-09-09T12:16:00

2006-09-09T22:03:16Z

INTERNET BACK YAY!
Went to see Ermine last night, they were decent, however Grand Theft Bus (who Ermine opened for) I didn't enjoy very much. But the audience for them was very amusing.
I'm mostly moved in, and so far I'm liking the place,but i still havent managed to have my "housewarming" party yet. fuck it i guess.
I finished the L word last night.. the end of season 3 was a little anticlimatic, and more sad than funny or cool.
I need to go buy some hair dyes and get some money out of the bank cause the money machine here is a piece of shit.

.....7 hours later after a band practice (which was fucking awesome by the way), I think I'm done. Time to see who's goin drinkin tonight!

Toodles folks.

instantfailure @ 2006-08-28T00:04:00

2006-08-28T03:04:58Z

Can't sleep. Moving soon. Too much thinking. And indigestion. Fucking KFC.

instantfailure @ 2006-08-23T06:23:00

2006-08-23T09:23:35Z

not many people posting lately :(
I might try to do an update later but I really don't have much to talk about (I guess)

instantfailure @ 2006-08-10T18:31:00

2006-08-10T21:33:37Z

So I'm contemplating how bad my feet stink, when my dad comes down the stairs and says "Hey Angela, one of your old teachers is upstairs." I'm like, who the fuck?, so I say "Who?" and he says "Sue... uhh.. Sue..." "Fetterly." "Yea, Sue Fetterly, your grade 8 or 9 teacher" "Grade 2" "Damn was it that long ago?" "Yep... I'll be up in a minute."

Went upstairs and talked with my grade 2 teacher Mrs Fetterly, who is like my Aunts' best friend (she came with my aunt). Strange moments at home.

/end momentary lapse in boredom

bored bored bored bored bored bored

2006-07-23T22:51:14Z

gah i wanna move already.
theres a bunch of things I'm plannin to get for my room (dividers and lamps and shit) all in the same theme, and so far it's working out in my head. I just need to actually get in there and start moving. Caitlin imma need to talk to you about a few things to both kill time and plan in advance for the apartment.. mainly kill time cause it's easy enough to do last minute. We'll probably start moving the evening of Sept 1 and then Sept 2 (unless we can move in earlier) and then finish up Sept 3 and have a party of sorts.
i also want my other pay day to come, so then i can finally pay off all my debts and start plannin what I'm going to purchase first. and i wanna see how much I get (teehee. excitement.).

I need some ideas for tattoos too. I wanna get one of them soon. To go with the 16+ piercings I plan to get (bwahahaha...). I'm thinking something along the lines of kanji, wolves, dragons, or samurai/sword related. Maybe I should get the Thundercats symbol eh? hehehe... not really that'd be lame as fuck. Anyways ideas fot tattoos are welcome.

instantfailure @ 2006-07-19T06:39:00

2006-07-19T09:40:42Z

payday is beautiful. i got like half my debts paid off now, and since next paycheck is bigger I'll have the rest paid off easily and then i can start saving for various months' rent and my sword collection

instantfailure @ 2006-07-17T15:23:00

2006-07-17T18:23:52Z

We just got approved for the apartment =)
I'm going to give the last mission to Caitlin... Time to text her! =P (yea cause im impatient)

instantfailure @ 2006-07-13T22:57:00

2006-07-14T01:58:26Z

Tomorrow: application & deposit on apartment.
excitement =P
livin with dave g and caitlin should be interesting to say the least lol

instantfailure @ 2006-07-09T19:46:00

2006-07-09T22:59:57Z

I started my job last week. Things have been pretty insane since last Tuesday. My sister got home the week before (on a Wednesday) and that night there was DDR. I had to completely flip my sleeping schedule around, and going to the cottage on the weekend didn't help that very much. So I had about 2 hours of sleep monday night (it was a long weekend) before my first 8 hour workday. It's just orientation and training at this point. That night after work I went straight to the split crow for a football team fundraiser. Tuesday night I had a decent sleep, but had to wake up grossly early once again to go to work on Wednesday. Wednesday night after work was football practice, and then I went to a teammates house for a party for one of our teammates who has to go back to Germany very soon. There was a lot of drinking and I got home way too late, and ended up with very little sleep once again before work the next day. Thursday night was an early one, and Friday was off to the cottage for DDR, drinking, video games, etc, in my cottage with about 12 other people. It was very annoying (My cottage is only 3 rooms... some people were in tents in the backyard, and we had 4 people in my room... which is pretty small). So now im finally back from that crazy assed weekend and preparing to go see Pirates of the Caribbean 2. It'll be another nearly sleepless night. -_-

I plan on moving out by October. I have one roommate lined up, and a potential 2 more, which is pretty sweet. I'll be buying a car within a month. I'll have a band together by september. I'm headin out to Fredericton this weekend for a football game I may not get to play in (like usual... ive become the fuckin benchwarmer, it pisses the hell out of me), and Moncton the next weekend. Then the season is over. I wasn't at the game this weekend, but I heard we won 16-1, which is great. I'll be buying a digital camera this week to take some pictures and maybe some videos of the games, and I may post some here. My sister is returning to Edmonton this wednesday, so the craziness around the house should stop, finally. Then back to my same old boring days, but now with a full work week.